Through the Glass
by I am a tie
Summary: I sit at my desk, looking out the window, hoping to see what I know I never will. Gemma's living in a dingy New York apartment. Will she be able to let go of her past and move on? Or will her memories be too much...
1. Prologue

Disclamer: I don't own there wonderful characters I just use them...however if I did own Kartik...lazy smile

**This takes place after TSFT.**

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I sit at my desk, looking out the open window, hoping to see what I know I never will. I look back at the letter I had started writing over an hour ago.

_Dear Fee,_

_I hope this letter finds you well…_

_I…_

I glance back out the window. Tears rushing to my eyes. I brush them away, laughing at what I've become. My dreams are all that keep me here. Dreams of him. Dreams of what could have been.

"Stupid, stupid Gemma." I say, "Still crying over a man, a stupid, stupid, man. A man your never going to see again because you let him, you let him sacrifice himself. You let him die. You let him die and you never deserve to be happy again! You're a terrible person. I'm a terrible person."

The tears are flowing freely now, it's not like anyone can see me. I'm alone. I look back at the letter, and put my hand to the page.

_Dear Fee, _

_Ignore the above. _

_I still dream of him and how he would touch me, cautiously, guarded, lovingly. I miss him so much and wish he were here. I know it's been a long time and I should be over it but I'm not. I love him Fee. I know you didn't understand and you still don't but I love him and I want him back, I want him back right now! _

I crumple the letter and toss it in the waste basket. A glance at the clock tells me it's midnight. I walk to my mirror and place a hand upon my face.

"Why?" I look at myself. The tears streaming down my face. I brush them away again and take a deep breath. I know he wouldn't like to see me like this. I know it deep down in my heart that he's always with me. The worst part is he's not truly dead. If I killed myself it would do nothing. I'll never see him again. He's in the Winterlands, trapped in a god damn tree. I stand to my full height, it should have been me. I should be the one stuck there, not him. One last look at myself and I fall into bed, waiting for my dreams to claim me.

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If you like it hurra!

There's more to come. If you want it. If you think I should continue that is.

Tell me your thoughts!

-tIe


	2. Chapter 1

**I don't own a thing.**

**Except for the idea.**

Morning comes.

The terrible light beckoning me from my dreams, the only place I'm ever really happy. I drag myself out of bed. I don't want to leave the house today. I look out my window onto the busy streets, why is everyone so happy?

I look at my apartment. One room. A bed. A desk. A mirror. A clock.

I sit at the desk and try once again to write to my friends.

_Dear Fee, _

_I hope that you are having a lovely time. I hear that Ann has been doing well for herself…_

I crumple the paper and begin again.

_Dear Fee,_

I scratch the words out and look at the clock. Noon. I try once more.

_Fee,_

_I'm sorry I haven't contacted you as of late. I've been very busy searching for jobs I'm doing well and hope to see you some time soon. _

_Gemma._

The letter showed that I was clearly not fine. I crumpled it into a ball.

I shut the window, left open from the night before. Covering the out side world with a pull of the blinds. I take out a new sheet of paper, and pull my pen across the page. Lines start to form a pattern, familiar, strong, bold. I pull my hand away, Kartik stares back at me. His likeness startles me. I touch my hand to his paper cheek, water pooling at my eyes. I leave the drawing at my desk and crawl back into bed. I beg sleep to take me, but it never comes. I look at the ceiling, peeling green paint and white cracks stare back. Why? I turn over closing my eyes. I scream at the frustration of it all. I sit up and pound my fists into my pillow.

"WHY?!" I scream "Why?" It's all I can say.

There's a knock at the door.

"Go away!" I yell.

"Miss, are you alright in there?"

"Yes I'm fine." I say frustrated.

"What's all that yelling about? You trying to hurt yourself again?"

I get up and open the door.

"Mr Timmons, I thought we agreed that that was an accident. As you can see I'm perfectly fine." I snap.

"Accident my foot. Your lucky I let you keep a mirror in there at all, after what happened. Shards of glass everywhere, Blood-"

"It was an accident" I say through gritted teeth.

"Right," He looks me over, "You don't look so great, you look sad again."

"I'm fine." I say, though there's now use.

"My son is coming to visit. He'll be here in about a weeks time. I think you'd like him he's-"

"Mr Timmons with all due respect, I'm very tired and I really would like to get some sleep."

Mr Timmons looks at me as if I'd gone mad, well madder.

"It's only just after noon. What where you doing all night? You know when you first came here I thought you where normal. I chose you because you seemed the most normal. You weren't bad to look at either. Keep in mind though that I do own this building, and I can remove you from it if I see fit. I've been getting complaints from some of the other tenants-"

"Mr Timmons, I'm your only tenant. You need my money." I look at the older mans face. His gray hair and robust form.

"That may be so, but I have to live here too, and-"

"I'm sorry sir, I'll try and be more respectful." I say trying not to let my voice sound too cold.

"S'all I ask." He turns away and walks up the stairs.

I shut the door and walk towards my mirror. The tips of fingers grace the reflective surface, slowly they close into a fist. I draw my hand back…

I fall to the floor a whimper escaping my lips. I slam my fist against the floor. My head falls against the bed, I smile as sleep welcomes me into it's waiting arms.

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**More to come, please leave me your thoughts.**

**xox**

**TiE**


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